

Fight, Flee or Connect… A Choice?
I was recently reminded of a line from a poem by Roy Croft that goes: “I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.” To me this says that although I am sufficient on my own, with my partner I am more – and we are more – than either of us would be otherwise. I can’t help but wonder how that is possible? It begs a basic question about human nature: Are we intended to be in connection or to be essentially independent? Some say that we are inten


How's Your Relationship Running?
Someone once called me a “relationship mechanic.” Actually, the metaphor works well to describe the work I do with couples. The parallels between what a mechanic does and what I do are surprising, as well as those between relationships and automobiles. Relationships often need a tune-up, repair or a major overhaul – just like a vehicle. Both can appear to be in good shape on the outside, but may actually not run very well. Or, they might look unsophisticated, even a bit ragge