The Lie: A man does not bother with emotions. At best, emotions are useless and at worst they get in the way of solving problems and getting things done.
Emotions are messy, complicated, confusing and they don’t make sense. Working with them can be inefficient, slow and frustrating. For a man who knows he is measured by what he does and what problems he solves, emotions can be a barrier that makes a difficult job much harder. Even worse is the fact that many men work and live in environments where it is vital that they have the skill to set emotions aside. On the battlefield, in the boardroom, and on the police beat it is critical to be able to clearly and rationally respond to a threat at a moment’s notice. Unrestrained emotions in these settings could be detrimental or even dangerous.
Emotions are not just normal and natural, they are a vital part of our brain’s function – one that we could not survive without. To ignore or avoid emotions is to miss out on a tremendous source of information that may be vital to the task at hand and certainly to the relationships that are most important.
Emotions tell you what to watch out for, what to strive for, what to no longer accept and what to take care of. Emotions tell you what really matters. They give you that sense of purpose that makes all the hassle and frustration worthwhile.
More than anything else, emotions inspire action. Happiness draws people to celebrate with you, sadness draws people to comfort you, anger both pushes people away and allows you to defend yourself, and fear helps you avoid or escape a threat.
Without being able to notice, understand and use emotions, you are trying to function with far too little information.
Check out the new animated movie “Inside Out” for a wonderfully entertaining and very accurate portrayal of the role emotions play. It is a “must see!”
Breaking out of the influence of the lies we were taught to believe is a tough job for any man. Northern Illinois Men’s Counseling stands ready to coach, support, guide and challenge men to be the best they can be. Call, text or e-mail if you have questions. When you are ready, you can schedule an appointment through the website without the hassle of phone tag.